FLOWING THROUGH THE FEAR

In a flash your heart smacks the wall of your chest. It becomes harder and harder to breathe and everything feels like it's closing in around you. The shroud of fear has gotten you again.

Unfortunately, fear is not just an emotional response reserved for life or death situations. We are born with it and as humans are exposed to people and situations that could cause us to fear unnecessarily. Traumatic events can be minimal in duration and size, but their effects could last a lifetime.

For my mother, the mere thought of leaving the house brings about intense feelings of fear. On a recent trip to visit my family, I was elated at my success at getting her out of the house! Driving aimlessly, we soon approached the Aquarium of Niagara Falls. I suggested we stop for a visit. After getting comfortable with the environment at the outdoor sea lion pool, my mom was able to make her way indoors.

Cozy and dark; along with the smell of marine life, it was as if we were floating serenely in the mix. Small tanks filled with various fresh and salt water creatures lined the perimeter of the room. In the center of it all was the bottom of a large round tank that held four sea lions.

Winding around the exhibit path, we heard the most horrible shriek. It was a child's voice and it echoed throughout the aquarium. When the screeching grew closer, I looked back and saw a father forcing his young son to look at the sea lions as they swam playfully in the bright blue tank. Kicking and screaming he tried to pull away from his father's clutch. The man grew more determined to control the frightened boy as he pressed his son's tiny face into the cold, sweaty glass. Eventually, the father took his son into the bathroom and both came out quietly moments later.

It was difficult to witness and not be able to help a scared child. My mother said, "That's making my heart hurt, I might have to leave." I responded, "It seems like he's trying to make him a "man" by forcing him to not be afraid." I reassured her by reminding her to just stay focused and breathe.

Fear is an emotion that can stem from past traumatic experiences, a true present danger or the unknown of the future. The level to which it escalates is dependent upon numerous factors. But, with gentle persuasion it is possible to come out from under fear's debilitating grasp.

My mother had connected with boy's tremendous fear. She became both emotionally and physically disturbed. Without the gentle help of another, she may have had a panic attack and missed out on what was otherwise a lovely day